I will never forget

Dear Baby -

No, I have not forgotten about you. I may be slowly forgetting about this blog and about these letters, but certainly not about you. It's funny how you go about life, just doing the average thing, and then all the sudden you are pregnant... Things start changing faster than I thought possible. Recently I have felt like you are watching us somehow, so I make your Dad have better manners because you might be learning from us. I know thats crazy, but I am still just in awe that you are growing inside me. Until you are in my arms, I don't think it will ever fully sink in. Sometimes it really catches me off guard that I literally have a human life growing inside my belly. It's surreal, thats what it is. At least, thats the best word I can put to these feelings.

You seem to be giving us quite the scares lately, and since my body has never seemed to be normal in the first place, pregnancy is just magnifying that. You've gotta stop freaking me out, and just patiently wait for your time to come out. That would make Mommy very happy. A couple nights ago I told your Father that if I was a Goddess and if I could create my own world, I would make so that women had a vision screen of sorts on their belly. That way they could see their baby at all times and be sure that everything was ok. He mentioned the fact that all the other organs would gross women out, but still... I just want to always know you are ok and that you are growing just as you should. Its a stressful job to grow a human.

I promised your Dad and my Mom that I would start taking pictures of this belly of mine. Please do not laugh at the quality.. This was a fast one for Camden so that she could see that I am not gigantic like she was hoping. I am sure I will look back at this outfit choice, and my shorter hair, and just cringe.

I think my belly is even a smidge bigger than this now. I feel like every morning its bigger than the day before. I actually had to get some maternity garments because the waist bands were cutting in all the wrong places.

You would think that after more than a month of writing, that we would have all these glorious things to tell you, but honestly we are the most boring people. If we aren't doing homework, or watching Criminal Minds, or cleaning, or sleeping... well, thats really all we do these days. A couple weeks ago we did go to Mesa Falls. It was spectacular.

I wish you could have seen the beautiful greenery, and the water... It was so nice to be there. It's places like that that make me sit in amazement of God's work, and the beauty that we have here.

Then there was this experience..

This is what your parents think spontaneous means. It was a very expensive "little trip."

My mother had certain things she always wanted when pregnant, to the point where with a couple of us she can remember what that one thing was. With Ian & Avery it was Big Stick popsicles, and with Carson it was Fishy Crackers. I couldn't really tell you what my thing is, but I could definitely tell you what it isn't. You seem to have made me a complete vegetarian, possibly even vegan. I can't eat meat of any kind, eggs, dairy.. It's all so gross to me, to the point where I wonder if I will ever eat any of that again.

But you are growing, and so far everything seems to be plugging along just how it should, despite how my Hypochondriac-ness has increased to all time highs. Despite that, I am amazed at how much we already love you. We don't know you, but we are so excited to meet you. In fact, just yesterday I held an 8 day old baby, and all I could think about was you and your tiny body. I cannot wait to see that tiny body, to take you home, an just watch you grow.

I can already tell this will be an adventure of a lifetime.

I love you to pieces,
Mom