What Would Herb Say?

Today I had Jury Duty. Who ever looks forward to Jury Duty? I'll be honest, the thought of sitting in one room for an extensive period of time sort of appealed to me today because I have so many thank you notes to get in the mail. I figured, if I am going to be somewhere, doing absolutely nothing, I might as well be productive at doing absolutely nothing. I even thought to bring my Laptop because I still have traffic school  online, begging me to complete it. Productiveness. I work during the day, I go to school at night, these are things that just seem to slip through the cracks.

I wanted to throw my alarm across the room when it went off this morning. Productive day or not, the hour just didn't agree with me. I got there around the same time as most of the people did, checked in, and had to fill out this form, making it so I was one of very few people left standing. There was a seat right up front, and rather than squeeze through some row, it was just easier to sit there. A very disgruntled teenager sat to my left, and this cute older gentleman sat to my right. I honestly have no idea how the conversation got started, but Herb made my day.

Meet Herb. He is a sprite 89 year old, still driving, and does yard work for widowed women. Not because they cant bend over, but as Herb says, its that they cant get up. His wife died in 1993, only 69 years old, from some sort of tumor. It wasn't that the tumor took her, no she lived right through the surgery, it was that the Kemo that followed was too much for her body. Right before this happened they celebrated their 50th Wedding Anniversary. His kids wanted a party, he wanted a cruise, the kids said they couldn't afford it, he said he would pay, and they all enjoyed a week of celebration. It was right after their return that they found out about that tumor. He calls that lucky because they spent that last trip together. He's lived in California his whole life, Westminister for the past 39 years, but he has no family there. He has a Son up by San Francisco, and a Daughter in Costa Mesa. No one ever really visits him. If I knew where he lived I would, but I am sure he would not have told me if I asked... that just would have been creepy. He has a Granddaughter who needed help once, had some trouble with this loan, and he paid it off for her, just asking that she pay him so much per month without interest. She did for a couple months or so, and then her husband got a job transfer and he hasn't heard from her since. Wrote her once and never heard back.

It sounded like he lived in a retirement community, although he certainly was more energetic than anyone I have met in a retirement community. He said in the place he lives they have game night, and they sing carols, and they are all each others friends. Just talking to him you would love him. You should see the way his face moves when he talks, or the joy that sweeps across his face when he spoke of his grandfather and the funny sayings that he had. He had this happiness about him, and he was all about making sure others did too. If someone passed him who didn't have a smile, he would question them on their happiness, addressing them upfront so that by the time they walked away they were smiling.

At one point during our visit he asked me what the most important part of a person was. I answered the fact that they can breath. He said no. I said that maybe it was their heart, because that keeps them alive as well. He said no. Finally, after getting bothered that I was not as smart and intuitive as he thought, he said their attitude. He went on to say the importance of attitude, the fact that its all we can change, and how much God's work depends on a positive attitude. He spoke about the importance of happiness, the importance of smiling, because we have every reason to do so. He spoke about how bothersome it was to hear complaints, and how degrading people can be. He seemed to define resilience, and all I could do was listen. Every word I listened to. I smiled. I laughed. I made little interjections when I agreed completely. But I couldn't really talk because he fascinated me. I just met him and he made me so incredibly happy because thats all that came from him. Even when talking about his wife's death, he mainly talked about how good it was to be on that cruise. He has been to jury duty 35 times, but by the look on his face you would never have known. He just kept saying that because he is so wise, they keep inviting him back. He fascinated me. Jolly, thats probably the best word to describe my new friend Herb.

So I walked away happy, even when they called my name to a court room. I walked away joyful, and ready to make everyone around me smile. I wanted to spread the joy of Herb. I mean heck, when you meet Herb you will understand that you cant exactly help it, his joy is so contagious it will bother you. I walked down the hall, I sat in the room, I heard I was to report on Monday, and then all these negative events started happening. Its not important to name them, because honestly that doesn't matter. What matters is the negativity that I all the sudden felt. The way I let other people, within the most ridiculous situations, affect that attitude Herb so graciously gave me. Its like in the span of an hour I had completely forgotten about the inspiration I had received from that 89 year old man. I sat angry in my car wondering what the crap Herb would say, and yes, I said crap because that was the mood that so kindly accompanied me.

Herb would have smacked me. It seems violent for an 89 year old man, but you should see the shape this guy is in. He most certainly would have smacked me because I was so stupid to not even let his words sink in before I went right back to sour. He would have smacked me and told me what a wonderful life I have. He would have repeated his little portion on Gods plan and how this sour part was not helping that plan to move forward, and it was certainly not part of Gods plan for me. His plan for me is happiness, and joy, and love, and service. Sour is nowhere to be found.

I wish I was as perfect as Herb. I wish it was that easy to just let things roll off your back, to just let people say things and suddenly you aren't sensitive toward their words and you just continue smiling. I wish it were that easy. Its obvious that age means wisdom, and certainly Herb has had a lot of practice so I shouldn't be comparing myself to him. Its just that I want to make Herb proud. So Herb, I failed a little today and I let other people get the best of me. Thankfully tomorrow is a new day, something I am sure you would say to me in this moment, and so I can try again, another thing I am certain you would say. I will try again to spread joy and to smile and to laugh, and to just be the best I can, because you're right, God has a plan for me and sour is no where to be found in that.

I wish there were more Herbs in the world.