Trials

Yesterday I went through the temple for the first time. I'll be honest, I'm a little overwhelmed and not entirely sure of everything I experienced, mainly because I was so focused on certain words that touched me and certain feelings that still linger. I walked away in awe of it all and even more excited for this new adventure of mine. 

It was so incredible to be there with Rob. I kept taking a peak over at him, just happy that we were both there. We both have that in common now. We both know of the feelings we felt there and the words we promised to each other when it was all over. We both sat in the Celestial room hugging each other, both knowing that we would return.

I'll admit I'm naive now, right in this moment, but I'm just going to assume you all were when you first got married. Right in this moment I have such dreams for us, goals for us, and I see nothing but happiness. Right now I see us returning to the temple, both of us faithful and clinging to the Lord. Right now I see our children and all the wonderful things that we will do with them, all the wonderful things we will teach them. Right now I am at peace because I can see what joy can be in our future, nothing but happiness.

Obviously, I know I am wrong. I'm not that naive. I know it wont ever work out fully like that, mainly because I know trials exist, and those scare me. Just the thought of them scares me. I know there will be times, and have been times, where we have anger towards each other. I know there will be times where we forget our blessings and aren't quick to cling to the Lord. I also know there will be times when we have to be reminded, humbled, made stronger.

Its not that I dont think bad things will happen, its not that I'm "too young" to see that there will be things in life hard to get through, but in this moment I see nothing but happiness. In this moment I see how strong we can be, and I see what beauty the temple brings. In this moment I see the importance of returning often, improving constantly on our shield of protection to warn away those evil things.

In the temple, sitting there, trying to absorb everything happening around me, I just felt nothing but peace. I felt the protection of the Lord, I felt His love for me, and I also felt His love for Rob. I felt peace as I looked at Rob, and I feel nothing but peace now, knowing that He will be there throughout our entire marriage if we let Him. He will carry us. He will guide us. He will lift us up when we feel we cant move another muscle. He is our strength, and our lighthouse. I know there will be trials for us. I know there will be things that discourage us and challenge us and test our character. I know there will also be times where one of us, or both maybe, want to give up. But I also know that the Lord heals. I know that no matter what happens, no matter the strength of the trial, the Lord is stronger.

I have seen terrible things happen to families. Things you never wouldve thought. I have heard stories of the incredible strength of the devil, and I have recently felt his power over our minds, disguising himself so he is hard to distinguish. There are terrible things in the world, and terrible people to help those terrible things along. People make choices that affect us greatly, especially our spouse, and I have seen the extreme difficulty that holds over their families left in the dust to pick up those pieces. Its horrible. Its tragic. And the fact that things like that could happen to me makes me want to cry, because we cant control that part of life. We cannot stop the terrible things from happening.

I will never forget those feelings I felt in the temple yesterday night. I will never forget the warmth, and the joy that was constantly hugging me. I will never forget. Ever. And through all the trials that come my way I will try my very best to draw back on that experience of when I knew for the very first time the power of peace that can be found here on earth. I knew for the very first time of the extent of my Heavenly Fathers love for me, and that is a very hard thing to forget.

So bring on those trials. Bring on the terrible things life has to offer me, trying to bring me down, because in this moment I feel nothing but strength from my Father in Heaven. In this moment I know I can do it, and may I always draw back to this moment when I feel that I cant.