Starting Monday

I sure did jinx everything. I knew that by posting my deep concerns for the internet world to see, that I would lessen my chances for finding a job. Things like that are just bound to happen. 

Before posting the previous post, Rob & I had had a really good evening. We went out to eat at the best mexican place in town, the closest we will ever get to mexican without Orange County. We are on the activities committee, so we then went to an activity. We got to hang out with people we love, and learn some cool dance moves, while getting to eat candy... so it was a good night. 

Somewhere between dinner and the activity I missed a call from State Farm. I interviewed with them  around the beginning of this month. I then did a courteous follow-up email, not really know where they stood on hiring me, and sort of wanting to be the incredible brownnose I can be. In the message, the owner of our local branch just stated that he wanted me to call him back. 

While waiting to hear from State Farm in the first place, I had interviewed with Wells Fargo, and was patiently awaiting word from Paul Mitchell. All good companies, all having good things to offer, I just didn't want my eagerness to get a job hinder my ability for making the right decision. 

I called the local State Farm branch this morning, not really sure what to expect. I figured, they wouldn't let me down on a voicemail so they most certainly would let me down once they heard my voice. 

They asked me to come in at 4pm today to discuss things. I then just thought, they most certainly wouldn't let me down on the phone, they are just waiting to do it in person. 

A part of me was hoping for the job, I just wasn't sure if this was what I wanted when being compared to Wells Fargo. Wells fargo paid more, as far as I knew... Wells Fargo was just looking better.

I started to try and figure out the best way to let them down, not even knowing if Wells Fargo would hire  me, or even if State Farm would hire me. I just kept praying that I would know what to do. 

I walked in, greeted Steve, and just felt so comfortable. He is the most genuine man, full of concern for his employees. He asked how Rob was doing, how his school was going, how I was doing with life outside of employment. He just had a genuine interest in me, making me feel more comfortable. 

Through talking to him, through hearing about the company and what they stand for, I just starting to get the feeling that this company would be a great fit for me. I knew that he would be the boss that I could come to with concerns, that I could come to with questions. It is a small company, and I like that feel. It is what I am used to. I like knowing that everyone cares for one another. With me dealing with insurance, something I have never done before, I would need an environment of encouragement and help. 

By the time he offered me the job, I had already decided in my mind that State Farm was what I wanted. 

So here I was complaining yesterday, freaking out yesterday, when all I needed was one more day of patience. 

I finally got a job! 

I start on Monday, with my professional attire and my sales face on. I have a lot of learning, a lot of training that needs to happen and that is very intimidating, but I am excited for the challenge. I need to be challenged and pushed and this is the perfect opportunity for that. 

I will also get the opportunity to study and prepare myself to be certified, something that will just add to my collection of hats. The more hats you have, the more desirable people find you to be. 

This company made me feel needed, made me feel like I could bring them to the next level. The confidence they have in me was enough to convince me, mainly because it gave me confidence that I will actually be able to know all this stuff. 

I got a job. I have a schedule now. Things will certainly be different, but wow does this make me feel better. 

I finally have a job. 

Two months of unemployment without children was enough for me. 

The Patience Lesson

Sometimes I make deals with myself, little cautions if you will, to encourage myself not to write about some life happenings on here. Obviously there are things about our life that you most likely don't want to hear about, no matter how frustrating or funny it may be. So I make little deals with myself so I am not tempted to let these happenings loose on the internet. I want to be honest on here, I want to tell things as they happen, but knowing that the entire world could potentially read... It makes you filter through your life. 

Then there are the things I don't write on here for the shear purpose that I feel I am jinxing myself. Like if I write and complain, then surely it will not happen since the web universe is now informed. 

I say this with caution because I am about to break one of my rules. To my defense, I need the luck of the internet... or the internet people.... or just the bloggers who tune into my little life.. To help put those positive thoughts out in the world. I need lots of positive thoughts, lots of positive prayers.. and just even a moment dedicated to me. It doesn't need to be a big moment, just one that would tell Heavenly Father.. "Hey, this girl really does need your help." Coming from all you, He might grant me some lenience. 

I need a job!!

There, I said it... I need a job. I want one, and I need one as well. I cannot look at these walls for much longer. I need out in the world, out with real people besides Rob and the people in the grocery store lines. I need to work. I am a hard worker. I get the job done, no matter what it is. I need to see paychecks again. I need to feel like I am actually doing my part as the provider. I now see why women aren't bred to do this sort of thing, we are way too emotional about it. 

And it's not like I am just sitting around waiting for the job to come to me. I am getting out there, applying for the things available.. interviewing when given the opportunity.. and now I just wait. I hate to wait. 

I need a job. I don't care if this jinxes my chances by saying these thoughts out loud, all I care is that I get to express them. I need one, I want one.. Help.

I hate seeing our money disappear.. In fact, you know its getting bad when tonight I actually considered living by candlelight. Sun by day, candles by night... because, you know, that would help our savings tremendously. Surely people somewhere do it, like Amish people... and they are somewhat normal.. right?

We are being smart with our money, we are trying to be careful.. but I want the number we had when we were first married. I want the number to stop shrinking and start rising, and that wont even come close to happening unless I get a job. I am raised to save, so maybe I should just blame this all on my parents. 

Send some good thoughts up to heaven for me. I need more support with this one than I originally planned for. 

I do better with a pact schedule. I do better with school and work and the social intertwined.. School actually gets finished when I have work.. I thought I would enjoy the opportunity to focus on one, but its like I am not functioning normal with a free schedule. It's like my body only works normal in the stressed mode, the mode where you only have 2 hours a day to do homework. Thats the mode I am used to. 

At least for the time being I am getting the opportunity to perfect my talents.. like cooking.. and possibly knitting once that needle doesn't intimidate me. 

Just let Heavenly Father know that I might be going crazy soon, so this "lesson of patience" thing that we have going here is ok to be finished. 

Greatness

I talked to these cute people last night. Mainly my cute Grandma because that cute Grandpa of mine has a strict bed time. 

"Early to bed, early to rise, makes a man healthy, wealthy, and wise."

My Grandpa is certainly all of those things, so maybe I should start going to bed early too! If only we could all be like my cute Grandpa. 

I love talking with my Grandma. I don't do it as often as I should, but I like to reach out every once in awhile to let her know that I am thinking of her, that I love her, and that everything she does for our family is greatly appreciated. 

My Grandma is a funny duck, well actually, all the women in our family are funny ducks. We are all stubborn as heck, we all like to be noticed and funny and loud, and we most certainly make sure we beat everyone at everything because we are the best. 

Humility is definitely something that runs in the family.

Last night as I was talking to my sweet cute Grandma, I got pretty overwhelmed with how good I have it. I remember posting something years ago about the greatness I come from and the long line of great people that have come before me. That post came into my mind as I heard all about my Grandma's day, the latest and greatest with everyone in the family, and most importantly, her TiVo.

You don't have to accomplish great things, you don't have to fly to the moon, or be the first to discover the cure for cancer... But you do have to live up to your potential as best you can. You do have to wake up every day, proving to yourself that you can make it better than the last. 

I come from a line of great people. I come from a line of great people who have accomplished great things in life. Thinking about that, thinking about what they've stood for, I cannot help but be overwhelmed. I can't help but think of the climb ahead of me to reach their heights, to claim their glory and carry on this line of great people. 

But last night I realized that greatness, though high in glory and hard to achieve, comes only from the actions of small and simple things. Greatness comes from loving your family, respecting and honoring them and their potential. Greatness comes from pushing yourself to excel in areas of weakness. Greatness comes from the acknowledgement that there are weaknesses within you, that there are things that you could improve upon. 

Greatness comes from smiles, it comes from laughter, it comes from those incredible hugs. 

You do not have to do extraordinary things, you just have to push yourself to be extraordinary, to be your best possible self. 

So yes, there are great people ahead of me in my line of heritage. There are people who have crossed the Atlantic by boat, people who have built great companies, people who have cooked better than anyone. There are people with degrees, people who fought in wars, and strong willed mothers rearing their children. 

But most importantly, there are people who have centered their lives around Christ. There are temple worthy members, full tithe payers, and humbled members who continually are found on their knees. 

There is greatness in this family of mine. 

There is greatness, not because of what they look like on paper, but because of the small and simple things within their hearts. 

Future Children

When we first got married, and even now sometimes, people will make comments about our future children. Since our complexions are so opposite, everyone just seems to be curious as to what these babies will look like. For the fun of it, I put our pictures in this website that gives you examples of your children. 

For all of you curious, Rob & I will not be having children anytime soon. Our luck doesn't seem like it will pan out as well as you think it will... 

I have no idea where those ears came from, or how this poor girl got that hair.

We hope Heavenly Father is more kind than the internet.

Joy in the Journey

I write this blog, not with the intention that people will read it, but because I enjoy writing. I enjoy getting my stories out there, whether it's only read by my mother or In-Laws, that doesn't matter. What matters is that I'm getting it out there. I am writing my story down. 

A couple weeks ago I posted about a chest that I had re-done, proud of the fact that some of my mother has rubbed off on me. A lady by the name of Letitia Switzer expressed her interest in my project, stating that she wanted to write about me. 

Just the fact that someone out there found me in the first place, and then liked what I had to say... My feathers are all puffed up with pride and I am not about to deny  that. 

I never like to brag about myself seriously, but go here to read her post. She thinks I'm pretty cool. 

And isn't that interesting? The internet brings people together in the strangest ways. Obviously there is a lot of negative when it comes to the internet, but look at what Blogs are doing to the world. Look at the creativity it is bringing out of women, or the knowledge they are helping us gain. Look at how inspired we feel when we find something great. My Mom always lets me know of the latest and greatest on her list of inspiring blogs. And those are the best ones; the inspiring ones. The ones making you want to be better. 

I had to make a mental note a couple months ago to stop reading the "brag blogs." I was struggling, I was depressed, and i was fully self-absorbed in my own struggles. Then I would browse blogs and the situation would just get worse because their lives seemed so wonderful. No one ever writes about the hardships, the things that make them cry, or even just terrible happenings. It just made me feel completely alone. Like I was the only one with problems. 

Everyone wants to appear perfect, appear as if they have everything together.. Creativity being one of them, perfect families being another. 

Obviously I would not go on here and write to the world about my depression, but I am not about to admit that I never have bad days. I am not about to admit that my life is perfect or that I am always smiling. 

Life is a struggle sometimes, and those are the exact times we need to be inspired. Those are the times we have to get up off the couch and find something to believe in. Whether thats your religion, your children, a special project... Whatever that inspiration may be, you must believe in something. 

We must constantly find things that inspire us, things that interest us, things that make us smile and help us to keep going. Because at the end of the day, we all have to keep going, so why not make it all worth it?

Let's find joy in the journey. 

Weekend with the Boys

A little piece of home came to visit us in Idaho this weekend! 

I can't even begin to describe how excited I was! Just ask Rob, I was convinced that I would never see anyone and that everyone would forget all about me. No one forgets about the younger ones, just the oldest one. Rob obviously reassured me that that wasn't the case, but until I saw these cute little faces, I completely disagreed with him. 

To say that they were excited about the snow is a definite understatement. The entire drive from Salt Lake they kept comparing the snow on the sides of the road, begging us to compare it all to Rexburg so they would have an idea of how much snow they would encounter. 

Thankfully it snowed on the way to get them, and a couple days before, so they were not disappointed. 

We had a whole weekend planned, full of snow-like activities, but we thought we should start Thursday off with some good snowball fights. 

The got pretty into it. I like the snow, I have actually come to grow fond of the snow, but not to the point where I enjoy rolling around in it. I designated myself as the picture taker. It was safer that way. 

Here Avery is getting ready for the match. 

Here is Ian with his game face on. 

Rob is about to sneak attack Avery. I dont think he was expecting this one. 

Avery is begging for his life. 

They are plotting to get Avery.

You would think we should be feeling bad for Avery, but Avery seemed to be at the forefront of every snowball.

Here he is again, tackling poor Ian. 

And instead of saving Ian, Rob attacked them from behind while throwing snow in Avery's face. 

I was sure glad that Rob was there, mainly because he certainly made the game more exciting for them. I just sat and took pictures - how boring is that! But seeing that snow fly around and their faces and clothing soaked, I did not feel I was missing out. 

Friday we got the opportunity to go Snowmobiling, thanks to our fabulous Father. It was an experience I know all of us will remember, seeing parts of Idaho we never knew existed. 

I swear Ian was excited, he just looks weird in this picture. 

Rob definitely felt a boost to his manhood on this outing. You could tell he was getting more of an ego with the helmet on, the big machinery underneath him... It was getting to his head. 

Rob was the one who went off the path a bit, did some donuts... You know the drill.. I was the one who went the speed limit, sometimes creeping over it, and just stuck with the bumps in the path for excitement. I thought I was going to be a downer and that the Boys were going to fight about who went with Rob, but Ian actually liked going with me. He said that the jumps were getting scary and that he liked just following the rules. Ian is my kind of guy. 

We saw the most beautiful scenery, but this was the only picture I got. You cant exactly take pictures and drive at the same time. 

We found a beautiful part of the Snake River, where you could feed ducks and gigantic fish. We even saw Swans in real life. I don't know why that excites me, but the only Swans I have ever seen were in the ponds at Disneyland! 

Rob was very proud that I caught up to his 45 MPH, so he tried to kiss me but those are a lot harder with helmets on. 

We found a restaurant that you can only get to by Snowmobile or hiking. We didn't think it would be that good, but the burgers were fabulous. Ian & Avery ordered a double bacon burger or something like that. It was huge when it came out, to where the waiter bet them that they couldn't eat it. But true Man vs. Food fashion, they took the challenge and bragged about their feat the rest of the day. So Dad, we are supposed to tell you that Avery finished the entire Burger all by himself. He does eat. 

We had to gas them up before we returned them, so we felt professional. 

Ian & Avery did get to drive. We let them once we got out a ways. It took a little probing because they were kind of timid about it, but they finally drove. They drove a lot actually, and they were very good. I was happy I was with Ian though because he behaved properly and I felt like our lives weren't threatened. Pictures were the last things on our minds. 

Later that night they convinced us to take them to the 9:50pm showing of Percy Jackson. I have to say, I am happy we went. It was a lot better than I thought it would be. A lot. 

Avery got this in a vending machine thing. We made him wear it around Target and to part of the Movies. Hide your children. People were very weary of him, but we got a good kick out of it. 

Yesterday we went sledding, and we had a little injury so my focus was on that and not the fact that I needed to document the event. Thankfully the injury is not that serious, or else we would worry if my parents would ever let anyone come visit us again. Poor Ian didn't get much sledding in, but he said the jump was worth it and Avery has reassured him that he got some serious air. 

Later that night we went to Big Juds. It is this hole in the wall place that is well known for their gigantic hamburgers. It has been on Man vs. Food, and since the boys love that show, we thought it would be a fun place to go. 

They ended up splitting the hamburger and barely could finish their halves. This picture doesn't do it justice, but lets just say that our house stinks like crazy now. Big Juds definitely got to them. 

It has been such a fun weekend with these two. They are so fun to be with and so well behaved that they are easy guests to have. I am so thankful for my family and for the opportunity to spend some quality time with these quality boys. 

I am also very grateful for my Husband and for the fact that he still is a kid at heart. It was so fun to watch them all play together and sled together and tackle each other with snowballs. They watched scary movies with him every night while I got my beauty sleep. Rob screamed with them, snuck up on them to make it more scary, and just made the entire activity fun. I know that without Rob this weekend would not have been successful. 

He truly knows how to help everyone have a good time. 

He Liked It

I seem to have taken up baking since moving to Idaho. I guess it could be that its much more affordable at times, or maybe that its just plain fun sometimes, but I am actually starting to get pretty good at it. 

I started trying to do bread with my Bread maker, and for white bread things run perfectly... Anything else seems to confuse the poor little guy.

I love my carbs. I will proudly admit that I love carbs more than candy, so when that bread does come out looking beautiful, I seem to be the only eating it the most. Rob isn't into carbs unless there is some meat involved. 

I found this recipe on the back of my big bag of Bread Flour and thought I would try it out. It didn't even call for a mixer, just me blending it with my hands and some semi-spatula use. Super easy. I cant even begin to tell you how easy this thing was, and it actually came out of the oven looking pretty decent. It was French bread, and though I didn't shape it like it normally looks, it was still moist inside and crunchy outside. 

I made Rob try some, hoping he would enjoy it. I had a piece too, and I certainly enjoyed it, but then I was out the door to pick up a friend leaving my bread loaf behind. 

I couldn't wait to come home to take a picture of my masterpiece and show off to the world, but this is what I came home too... 

I'm going to reach out on a limb here and assume that he liked it. 

Home

Look at those eyes. There isn't a person around who wouldn't be affected by them. 

It's been awhile since I have written on here purely out of inspiration or a rush of emotions. I've turned my writings into a monologue of events, things just going on around me instead of things going on within me.

This is my little brother Caelum. I know I am biased, but he is the most beautiful little boy. Anyone looking at this picture would be ridiculous not to agree. 

My parents adopted Caelum when I was 16 years old. Old enough to understand, but not mature enough to fully let the situation soak in. The minuet I looked into those big blue eyes, I knew he was special. I knew the entire situation was special. 

I remember when my mom got the call about this sweet little boy. I remember her picking me up from school, us driving as if it was any other day, and then that phone rang with the news. My mom had to pull over, she was crying so hard. I remember crying too. I don't think I knew exactly how blessed our family would be, or even how special the circumstances were, I just knew that that feeling in the car at that moment was what pure love felt like. That excitement and joy my mother felt, that overwhelming gratitude, that was a feeling I could understand. It was so strong in that car.

Caelum's birth mom was in Utah, meaning that my mom had every flight memorized just so that she would be prepared when that next special call came. The day Caelum was born was the exact day we happened to be moving. I remember the noise and everyone rushing around. I remember reassuring my parents that everything would be taken care of, and it was. The movers, the hustle and bustle, it all seemed to work out perfectly. Maybe not to my mothers standards, but it did work. 

They brought him home, the quietest baby with huge blue eyes that just stared at you. He took the world in, just looking and absorbing everything around him. Right when we locked eyes, I could just feel that same feeling felt in the car when that first call came. I think it is safe to say that everything changed when that first call came. 

He has grown. He has grown to be so big and funny and energetic, coming from something so shy and observant. He is a beautiful little boy, full of happiness and excitement. 

I don't really know why this is all coming back to me right now, this overwhelming feeling of gratitude. I guess it could be the "Teen Mom" show that the Dials have gotten me into. One of the couples on the show gave their baby up for adoption. Just hearing their side, a side I have never really contemplated, gives me more gratitude for this smiling little boy. 

Look at how loved he is. Look at the father he has been given and the opportunities that come with that. Not only for his spiritual and emotional growth, but just little things like basketball and how to throw the best punch. Look at the strength he has in his home and the joy that will come to his face when he thinks of his childhood with this man. 

Look at how much this woman loves him. I wish I had a picture of the day he first came home, or the day this little boy went to Kindergarden. My mother would be lost without this child. My mother has had the most beautiful experiences because of this child. You should see the way he looks at her. The honor and love and adoration that comes to his face.

Look at how much love he has within this family. Look at the boys and the girls and the many experiences yet to come. The many basketball games, the baby scouts, the real scouts, the trampoline, his obsession with anything remote controlled, and most of all.. His love for these people. 

If you were to ask Caelum if he would change his surroundings, or take any of it back, I guarantee he would say no. 

How could he be without her?

How could he be without him?

How could he be without them?

Watching this show, seeing the different perspectives, made me look at the situation in an entirely new light. 

What his birth mom did was nobel. What she did was strength and courage, and I know there must have been struggles emotionally. But what that birth mom did was give Caelum a mother and a father and siblings who love him with everything they have. What she did was give him a family who can provide for him in every possible way. She gave him a mother who would give her right arm to make him happy and healthy and successful. She gave him a father who will support him, love him, encourage him, and just be there for him. She gave him a completed family. A family with strange habits, the tendency to be loud, but with hearts to love the world. She gave him a family that loves to their fullest capacity, that gives until there is nothing left, and that holds tightly to each other when things get scary. She gave him the world. 

I cant imagine what that must have been like, or what that moment would have been like for her, but I thank her. I thank her from the bottom of my heart for even having the courage to know what was best for him. I thank her for putting her own needs aside and making a decision based off of his needs alone. I thank her for praying and for choosing our family. I thank her for what she did because I have seen that decision blossom into something beautiful. 

I thank her for giving us the final piece to our family puzzle.

If I could tell her one thing, it would be the reassurance that he is in the right place and that we love her for that. 

I would tell her that he is loved. 

I would tell her that he is happy. 

Most of all, I would tell her that he is home. 

It was a round about way to get there, but Caelum is home. 

Be Jealous. We are so cool.

There are moments throughout the day where I get very bored. Boredom is never good and only results in meaningless products or screening the internet for who knows what... But this time I actually think I put my boredom to good use. I am starting to have a little of my mother in me, and I am very happy about that.. 

Before:

After:

I am pretty proud of my creation. This makes our games look stylish, and it was really fun to do! I got to get all messy and it kept me busy and it will store our games beautifully. Those are the projects I love the best.. Fun, messy, and they have a purpose. 

I also got one of these little babies.. and yes, I literally mean little. 

I thought she was very cute, and I have now come to find out that every home needs one. It especially came in handy when I went to make these cute invitations and realized my house doesn't miraculous materialize glue sticks. Thats just at my mothers that that happens. Thank goodness for little precious up there. She doesn't work that well with paper, but who really cares. 

Yes, I am very original and creative and this was the best I could do. We decided we wanted to throw a Super Bowl party because, a) rob really likes football and b) I really love to cook and bake and I have this really great new recipe for guacamole. 

We knock ditched all of our friends, but we got more creative as the night went on. We first went to the Shirley's and the Christensen's and we taped the invite to their door, knocked, and ran downstairs. Only the Shirley's opened and we giggled to ourselves because we thought we were so funny. 

Next was Steven, Rob's younger brother. We went by his apartment and he wasn't there, so we stalked him down at the Gym. 

Look at that face.. He was just thrilled he got an invite! 

Next was the Dials, and since we were so professional at this point we wanted to make it more fun. We slowly climbed the stairs but we forgot to discuss the plan where we could talk loudly. I forgot the tape, we had no idea where we should hide, and I started to laugh a little.. completely blowing our cover. I tried to get it in the door so it would stay, I knocked, and then we ran down a little to hide. They opened the door and I just started hysterically laughing for no reason. I think they knew it was us all along. My laugh tends to give things away.. 

But look - they are just overjoyed to have their golden ticket. Especially Carson.. Just look at that face. It screams football time. 

So since we were now getting even better at it we were getting excited to go to the Parkers. 

We hid, just waiting for someone to come to the door.. but no one came. I was texting Lindsay at the time so I was secretly trying to figure out if she was home or not. She wasn't. 

We were going to leave it there, but that is just too boring and we were starting to really enjoy this. Lindsay was at work, so we thought maybe we could leave it on her car or something cool like that. 

When we drove up to Wells Fargo we saw her desk was near a window, giving us the perfect opportunity to do something funny. 

We parked where she couldn't see us... slowly made our way to her window trying to not be noticed... And Rob hurried and taped it to the window, knocked on the window, and we started running like crazy. 

It felt like we were in middle school again, TP-ing someone's house and trying to get away with it.

Of course, she saw us.. and she heard me.. and we felt like the coolest people around.. 

Thats Lindsay, on the phone with me laughing about what just happened.. And that blue thing is our invite, taped to the window so that she could read it. 

We are so cool. I know you are jealous.