He's Got Things Covered

Tomorrow marks the first day of September, and with the wedding on the 19th, I will be blogging religiously this month because there will be plenty of things going on. The wedding is in 18 days. Only 18 days. There have been moments of this engagement period that have gone quickly, and then there are moments that go slower than snails. This past month has sped past, and I have a feeling that's what the next 18 days will be like too. I just want to enjoy it, and to remember all of this, and to soak it all in...

These past couple of weeks Rob and I have been taking temple preparation classes on Sunday during Sunday school. Obviously it is review for Rob, but some of the things we have been discussing are entirely foreign to me. Its amazing how you can be taught to prepare for the temple all your life, but yet be completely blind sided with what you are about to experience. I try not to make those funny confused faces in class, because I feel like I'm the only one hearing these things for the first time, and I would hate to give that away. Its a small class, at max, 4 people. Thankfully they call on us mainly to read scriptures or quotes, and I make sure to pipe in when I actually know something... Best advice I have been given? Go in ready to feel the spirit, not ready to understand everything going on around you. Prophets still learn things when they enter the temple, and I have a lifetime to learn things in the temple, so the first time should be dedicated to knowing and feeling that I am in the House of the Lord and trying to grasp exactly what that means to me personally. The first time through is for feeling Gods love for me, and trying to let the importance of what I am doing sink in. The first time through is not for thinking hard, or pulling symbols apart, it is for feeling and absorbing. When I think of it like that, I cannot wait to go. I cannot wait to feel that love and that peace that is so reverently spoken of. I get chills just thinking about what I am about to experience, especially when I think of the sealing room. I can already tell you I will be a mess. Although, I could be extremely joyful too.. either extreme. Regardless I will have to invest in some good waterproof mascara.

I got my Temple Recommend on Sunday. I was so happy to show my grandparents and parents.. Me being the oldest, I was happy to start the trend of worthiness. Its better than the speeding ticket one. President Zundell made the meeting so enjoyable. He wanted to meet with both of us, and he was the first person to give us marital advice. It seems like everyone else just wants to make sure we are worthy, but President Zundell wanted to make sure we knew how to be incredible spouses. While Rob was in the room he was mainly directing his words toward him, and I just sat and listened. Watching Rob, for some reason, made me excited to marry him. I don't know why, I guess it was his interaction with President Zundell, or his comments.. maybe it was the fact that he was actually an adult sitting there, or that he was addressing him like a returned missionary would. It seems strange to say, but I was actually the girl in the situation, not that I haven't been before, but there was no need for me to talk. He had things covered. I don't know how else to explain it, except that he was handling things and all I had to do was smile. I cant tell you how much I have wanted that. I know it sounds silly to all of you, and I know I am not explaining it correctly, but it was refreshing to sit and just be silent. I didn't have to pull us, I didn't have to prompt answers, I didn't have to talk on behalf of anyone.. He had things covered. He is a pretty capable man, and I am just beginning to learn what exactly "man" means. President Zundell read a scripture that spoke of what Robs role would be in the marriage, then he mentioned that my role was to make sure he could do his. My role is to be gracious and nice so that he can treat me well. My role is to support and honor his priesthood so that he can. I'm pretty much the supporter, making sure he can do his job. We have this thing that I am constantly working on. When we are at a restaurant, I always talk first. It sounds simple and unimportant, but its a small act of taking away his manhood. I have had to practice not talking, letting him greet and letting him be the one to take control, instead of me jumping to that position automatically. Sitting in that office on Sunday, I was starting to understand how to let him take control and how to let him be the leader and how to just sit and listen and be silent. I want him to have the patriarchal role of our family, and in order to do that, sometimes I just have to sit and listen and just be silent. He has things covered. He is capable of incredible things. He is such a hard worker. He is a man, and I need to give him every opportunity to be the incredible man that he is. I can be that supporter that President Zundell spoke of. I can be gracious and kind and let him take the lead.. but only because he's got things covered.