Oh, What A Beautiful Life

I've had an interesting week. I wish I could go into details without making myself sound crazy, so let's just leave it at interesting. Yes, happiness is in order... Rob moved down last Saturday and I couldn't be more pleased to have him so close. I am already looking back at the many months of commuting and can't believe we did it for that long and we actually stayed pretty calm throughout. Rob will most likely laugh when he reads that last sentence because I can actually remember many times when I was anything but calm while sitting in hours of traffic just wanting to be done and with him like normal couples. He however, can stay calm much more often than I can in those situations. So to say I am happy about his move, I think, is an understatement. Last night he sat in on his first wedding meeting and he has been with me on my day of errands, laughing that I can do so much in one day. He went to institute with me on Tuesday night, and come Friday neither of us have to get in a car and drive somewhere. I think that's when it will finally hit me completely. I just love having him here.

My interesting week doesn't involve Rob though, strangely enough. He has been among the actions of my days, but the interesting week steams from my thoughts and the insight that has come to me lately. I love when that happens. I love those new ideas and behavior traits that come to my mind, making me want to change and improve myself because we should always be improving and trying to do better and be better. That's one thing I love about this gospel, is the idea of change and the hope for something better always around the corner. Its silly to think we should be the same person throughout our entire life, that we should just reach a certain point of growth and stop, but yet some people, possibly without knowing it, do in fact reach that point. There is that saying, "You cant teach an old dog new tricks." I honestly don't believe that's true. I do not believe you reach a certain point in life where it is impossible to learn new things, or change bad behaviors. I believe it is the human mind that tricks us into thinking this is true. Its the natural man that tells us we cannot do better, so you shouldn't try. Well, I personally believe in always trying. I believe in the constant improvement of character and refinement because nothing can be perfect in this life. In institute on Tuesday a boy phrased this nicely. He said that in the translation of the bible, when in Greek, the word perfect doesn't mean what we think it means. It means the constant improvement toward perfection. There is always room for growth.

My point in all this? People can change. That is, if they set their mind to do just that. The mind is such a powerful thing and though it takes some work, it is possible to push harder and strive to do and be more than you are at this exact moment, regardless of what moment in life you are at. I know at 85, if I'm still stubborn as all else, that I can still try each day to do just the opposite, hoping and praying that at some point it will kick in. Sounds crazy, sounds like a lot of work, but that is the beauty of transformation and that is the beauty of the atonement. I realized while sitting in institute on Tuesday night that the atonement helps me change and the atonement helps me improve, no matter what it is that I want improvement on. It just sort of hit me when I was sitting there, practically mesmerized at Brother Hobbins and his wisdom. We were talking about worry and how much that clouds our vision to become better people. How we can constantly, no matter what age, be worried or scared about something. We could think about the unknown until we are blue in the face, getting more and more terrified, but how will we know unless we make that leap of faith? Its that worry and anxiety that can paralyze us from that transformation and refinement that I was previously speaking of. We can worry that we aren't smart enough, we aren't pretty enough, we don't have enough money, we don't have the best car, our children aren't perfect, we are not as perfect as the person next to us, my actions aren't ever enough, someone always does it better than me, why can't it just be easy for me... I mean, the list goes on and on, and if you really sit and think about it, worry consumes a good majority of our days. It might not be clear at first, but when you really analyze your thoughts, like I tend to do more often than not, you would be surprised by how much you let others define how you feel and how you think. I let that worry consume my thoughts daily, I'll admit that. I know for a fact I let people control how I feel at times, but I have the ability to change. I have the ability to improve. I have the ability to choose how I will "act" toward people, and not let those actions of others bring "re-actions" out of me. I have the ability to use the atonement to conquer those fears of mine and worry no longer. Its that leap of faith, and that faith that change is possible, and through those characteristics, nothing but power comes. You can teach an old dog new tricks, and we should always be improving those tricks of ours, making sure that we are constantly striving to be and do better. My Grandpa said something in a financial discussion that I have been applying to all areas of life. You should be happy with what you have, but want for more. You should be happy with what you've got, happy with your talents and your body and your mind and your possessions and your financial status, but you should always be striving for more. You should always be educating yourself and improving your skills. You should always be striving to be a better person, but happy with where you are at right in this moment. I am happy with what I have, with what I have been given, and with where my life is at, but I will strive to be better and I will always want more for myself. I know I am powerful. I know I am capable of great things. Change is powerful. The Lord is powerful. Oh, what a beautiful life.