The Start of Our Journey

Yes, it seems like it has been centuries. And honestly, its been Rob who has kept this thing going for the past couple of months. It seems like my daily pre-wedding entries sort of wore me out. Rob is convinced that you have to keep people interested, or else they will forget about us for good.. so please don't forget about us. We are still here, just a little farther than we were a week ago. Well, a lot further.

Idaho. We actually made the trek to Idaho. I know most of you were thinking I would refuse, or how in heavens name could I stand the cold... But here I am. Been an Idahoan for about a week now. I'm actually not complaining as much as I thought I would, so I consider that progress.

I wish I could say that the journey held adventures, beautiful sites, incredible experiences... But you are looking at what we looked at for about 2 days. Thats our U-Haul, with our entire life enclosed in it, and we had the back memorized. Just in case you were wondering, the NEW U-Haul trailers are more aerodynamic, have a much smoother ride, a lower deck for easier loading, and just more room. Drive behind a U-Haul for two days and you could be just as cool as us.

The trek held many wonderful sites, including but not excluding the following...

To say that the scenery was thrilling us by the end of the trip is definitely an understatement. Idaho is full of variety when it comes to their scenery.

By the time we reached Rexburg, we were more than ready to get out of the car, and I was super nervous to see this apartment we had only visualized through photographs. The previous owners seemed pretty anxious to get out of here, so that could only mean mold or something disgusting and unbearable.

I thought I wouldn't like this little first home of ours, but I actually instantly fell in love. I guess the fact that its ours makes a huge difference.

Before:

We are so sick of seeing boxes and trash, and Crate & Barrel.. and if I never walk into a Bed Bath & Beyond again, I think I can survive. With daily trips into Idaho Falls, and many many car loads full of things.. We finally have something that is looking like a home. I'm extremely proud of it, if I do say so myself. Drum roll please...

After:

Here is the Kitchen... It actually looks like people live in it!

Here is our bookshelf that we are ever so proud of. In this little space you have to get creative, so here you have decorative, storage, and just plain cute!

Look at those lovely barstools that my incredible husband made! No, my counter is not completely clear, and yes, there is now evidence that we splurged on Ben & Jerry's, but please, focus on the barstool.

Here you go Glenn, your beautiful TV! I mean, Santa! That dresser we got at the Salvation Army and I just had to display it, clothes filled in it and all. And those Plates! Love the plates!

Yes, thats us!

Thats us too!

You cannot have a home without the temple.

Here is our bedroom. We are missing the other side table and lamp because that incredible husband of mine is still playing with his grown up legos.. But look at those stars! And Grandma, those pillows will always remind us of you!

And yes, whoever thought I could not fit my clothes in these closets certainly didn't know the beauty of organizational tools. Lifesavers.

Our Bathroom. Creative storage in here too.

My new obsession. I could stare at this shower curtain all day.

These beauties got delivered this morning, so finally Rob can wash those pajamas he's been in for days!

Our Couches are coming in a week, so we have been creative with seating.. But more pictures to come of the place coming together. We are so excited for our first place, and already loving the fact that this is where our adventure starts.

A special thank you to the Brantingham Family. They pulled our trailer on our journey up here, helped unload it, and started the unpacking with many many trips to the dumpster. They helped set up the television, and the internet, and the printers, and the desk.. Pretty much the start of the manly stuff, and certainly all of the technology things that we know nothing about. We greatly appreciate you all and are so grateful for your help. I am so lucky to have married into such a wonderful family.

And a special thank you to these wonderful women..

They have helped me more than I could even imagine. Its been such a big week, and I couldn't have done it without them. They have given me just the push I have needed to start this home, and to feel confident about it. They have helped me organize closets, throw away unnecessary things, hang plates, decorate, make thousands of trips to Bed Bath and Beyond. They have helped me learn how to grocery shop for cheap, and what is really needed in a basic kitchen. I honestly thought I knew everything, and this trip is certainly an eye opener. I am so grateful to be raised by such a wonderful woman, constantly pushing me and teaching me exactly what it means to be an incredible wife and mother. Its now time to truly make it on my own and make this home as beautiful a home as the ones I have grown up in.. and beauty in spirit, not in appearance.

So here we go. Here starts our adventures in Idaho. The cold isn't as terrible as we thought, however we seem to have the right equipment. The town is definitely as small as we thought, but then again that could be considered a good thing.. But the people are certainly much nicer than we thought, so that should help tremendously.

The heater is only set to 60, the electricity can only be used after 10pm, and mac and cheese is 49 cents right now at Albertsons. Welcome to college.

Misplaced "rainbows and unicorns"

When you read other blogs, you are usually left scratching your head, wondering why your world isn't full of the "rainbows, unicorns and magical moments" recorded on these blogs. The pictures show smiles and laughs.... Hardly a bad moment... well I am here to give only the truth and tell you that this week in the "Rob and Elyse World" ...the rainbow has given way to rain... our unicorn has run off... and our laughs have given way to coughs and sniffles.

It is final week for Saddleback, so Proffessors are quizing us on the last 16 weeks.

Rob got sick with the flu which has now spread to Elyse (you share everything when your married!!)

but to top it all off... The whole RSM Stake knows about Elyse losing her wedding rings at "follow the star" (our fingers are crossed that they will be found)

so if your week has been tough, hopefully it makes you feel better to know that ours has been also.

Like a Thief...

The California city of Rancho Santa Margarita happens to be "One of the safest cities in the Nation"...making the top lists year after year... This is great because one can sleep sound at night, not having to worry about theft or crime. 

However, there is a problem that is overlooked when one is thinking about moving into a crime free city.... BORED POLICE OFFICERS!!!  A routine traffic stop becomes a police force meeting, as police cruisers from all over town don't want to miss out... jaywalkering is a excuse searched for contraband before being ticketed, and breaking up teenage parties brings a smile to officers faces with all the possibilities of the crime that could be occurring.

This was running through my mind last night as Elyse and I were out in the cold, dark, California night, searching for boxes for the treck to Idaho. 

There we were... in dark ally-ways... late at night.... Rummaging behind stores like Target, Albertsons, and Peir1imports...

Signs like "Smile, youre on Camera" and "Don't steal” hung on the wall, only reminding me about how we looked...

I was waiting for three things to happen... 1) A fight with the only homeless man for the best box's in town, 2) A sea of cops to roll up on us 

And 3) to open a box and find a dead body.

Luckily, like a thief in the night.... we got away with our car full of boxes!

Tick Tock, Tick Tock.....

10 days: until the semester at saddleback College is complete....

18 days: until christmas...

20 days: until we begin the move to Rexburg, Idaho...

24 days: until its a new year, 2010...

27 days: until the anniversary of the day we first met.. awww, Cute, i know...

30 days: until BYUI semester begins...

Let the countdown  begin.......

Gratitude

Things on this blog are pretty backed up... We just put pictures from September and October up only a couple of weeks ago... so its only fitting that my Gratitude post is backed up almost a week after Thanksgiving... so with a good bowl of fiber cereal to help... here is what I am grateful for.

In no order of importance...

1) If anyone read Elyse's last post then you will know I am grateful for finding my wallet... I felt naked without it, and the thought of some illegal alien becoming the newest Robert Brantingham was very unsettling.

2) I am grateful for the Brantingham family. I wouldn't trade my family in for any other (even with all our quirks)... I enjoy my Father's stories, and it's always interesting to see what my Mother brings back from her early morning yard sales. My brothers and sister are keepers as well... I am Grateful for all of you.

3) I am grateful for the family I married into ( I wont call them in-laws because that's just weird sounding). From Elyse's Grandparents, who have allowed Elyse and I to live with them, right down to to Elyse's 5 brothers, 1 sister & her Mom and Dad... I am grateful for all of you all being there for us. Whether its been counting change, letting me sleep on your couch every other weekend, and most importantly, allowing me to marry your daughter.

4) Finally the most important person in my life and who I am most grateful for... My beautiful wife... You bring me so much happiness !  I am grateful for the help and support you give me. I am grateful that you said yes... not just on september 19th at the temple, but when you said yes to big bear.... when I finally asked for your number, when I asked you out for the first time, when I asked you to be my girlfriend, and when I asked you to marry me... I am grateful for all the yes answers, no matter how big or small they might have been... I am so grateful for you.

This is the time of gratitude, and I am just so blessed to be surrounded with incredible people.

Who Would've Known

Here is a Wallet. It's not Rob's wallet, but the picture will just have to do. 

I'm sure you would all agree when I say that a wallet is something pretty important. Your cash is in there, credit cards are in there, for some, most of us actually, our temple recommends are in there. Not to mention your drivers license.. gift cards... and the list continues. 

On Monday Rob announced that he couldn't find that precious wallet. 

We stripped our room, we looked under every couch, every rug, sifted through every pocket. We re-traced his steps over and over, trying to figure out what had happened. 

We knew Saturday night he had gotten gas, so we checked the gas station. Nope. Sunday we went to my parents for dinner, so we looked all throughout their house. Nope. On the way to Sunday dinner we had driven in my Grandpa's car, so we searched the entire car. Nope. 

I just kept getting more frustrated. Rob didn't seem to be bothered though. He just kept saying that he knew it would turn up, and most certainly in the strangest place. 

The most frustrating thing was that his cash from the weekends work was in that wallet. We needed that cash and you cant really replace cash when you get paid under the table. 

Wednesday I got to work and there were two cards on my desk, stragglers from the wedding. The total cash equaled about what was in the wallet, a miracle in itself. I couldn't really be frustrated after that. 

But still... where was the stupid wallet?

I told Rob today that we should probably start canceling things and re-ordering things, but yet he just kept saying it would turn up. 

And sure enough it did. 

He went to put on his shoes for work, and that look on his face told me exactly what was getting in the way of that shoe fitting. 

A wallet in the shoe. 

We combed that room thoroughly, lifted and sifted thoroughly, but never even thought to check the shoes.

Ears

I have the worst ears. I don't know why, I just do. I always joke that I could go deaf from the amount of wax. Gross, yes, but it's true. About a month ago, while walking in Henry's, possibly the greatest market in the world, we spotted this.

Our Psych teacher had literally just been talking about them in class the night before, so I just figured, why not. We got them. I hate the liquids you have to put in your ears, so cones, they seemed like they would be fine.

Yep, there are the cones. You stick them in your ear. Seemed a little daunting to me. That towel, yeah.. that towel we had to cut a hole into, in which my ear would be placed.. with an extra thing of water next to my ear as a precautionary... Because well, those cones are to be lit on fire. My precious ear, with one of the cones in it, and then a flame. You can see why my face looks the way it does.

And there is the whole thing in action. There is the flame.. with my eyes darting sideways hoping it wasn't getting too close. Funny thing is, is that when you look at something sideways it just seems much closer than it really is. Laying there for however long I laid there was extremely stressful. I hate ear wax, but I don't hate it enough to risk losing my hair.

Stressful. Look at that poor soul.

The flame got much much closer too. You have to keep blowing it out and cutting the top off and the tube gets smaller and smaller.

 This would also be the point where I show the pictures Rob took of the wax in the convenient, hope your hair doesn't burn, water bowl. Its gross. Just trust me. So I left those out.

Now, there is a running debate in the home as to if this thing even worked. I can attest to you that I fully believe it did. I also know that sometimes we can fake ourselves out, and I get that, it is just hard for me to believe that I faked the fact that it honestly improved my hearing. And I honestly believe it improved my hearing. I know Rob would agree with that too.

So go pick a pack up. I don't know if you all have a Henry's near-by, but you are bound to have these in your area. Pick one up and let's keep the debate running on whether these things work or not. I say yes.

Bubbles are Off-Limits

It's been so long since I have posted anything, from school work, to actually trying to get sleep, blogging doesn't ever really make the cut. I don't even know where to begin, so many things have happened.I have some catching up to do, so while we write our boring papers with nothing to blog about, I will fill you in on what's been going on the past few months. We haven't taken many pictures lately, just because whenever we have needed the camera it seemed to be somewhere besides my purse. Thankfully I did have it at some points.

These are bubbles.

Lots and lots of Bubbles. I'm not sure if you're looking at this closely, but ... thats the light fixture at the top of the picture.

And here the bubbles are again, spilling over the edge of the tub.

So, how does this happen? Our honeymoon. Don't eww at me just yet, this is obviously funny. I decided I would start a bath for us. Rob had gone to get a movie at the front desk, so I was going fast, trying to surprise him. I lit these candles in the bathtub area, I dimmed the lights, and I put in some shampoo to try and start some bubbles. The bathtub was HUGE, so I started it and walked away. Rob came in, saw what I was doing and awarded me with some kisses.

Those kisses turned into more kisses, and those turned into more, and soon I had completely forgotten about the tub. I told Rob to go turn the water off, thinking only about 10 min. had passed, and all I heard was laughing.

I didnt think this many bubbles would be there. I knew there would be a lot, but I didnt think there would be THIS much!

And look.. it was even bigger than me..

Note to future-self: Even though it is one of those tiny hotel size shampoo bottles, using the entire container could be a bit much when wanting a bubble bath. The clean-up is annoying, and it is just asking for trouble. Next time, just settle for candle-light... bubbles should be off-limits.

The Do Whatever People

I quit.

I decided last night that I am just quitting life.

I tend to be very organized, very meticulous, my calendar is immaculate, and I get things done on time. I am certainly not the type who gets it all done weeks before, but I just make sure things get done. I stress over getting them done, I lose sleep if I have to, and I will do whatever it takes to get things done.

You give me deadlines, I meet them. I'm good at that. I'm really really good at that. And when it comes to school, it works. It works perfectly because I get things turned in, I follow the rules, and I ask questions to make sure I know how to follow the rules. Yes, I am the annoying student at times, but it gets the job done. I get the job done.

As of last night, I quit. The stress freak, upper organized, maniac of a woman is no longer here. She’s gone because she quits. As of last night, she just up and left and here's why...

Example One:

We had a paper due. Nothing new.

It was pretty extensive, lots of research needed, lots of intricate details in how he wanted it formatted. I work; I come home and barely get time to do anything before I am off to school. Not much time for homework, but of course I crammed this in, because that’s just what my upper organizational skills can do. They make it work.

I was running around frantic with class starting at 7pm. At about 5pm Rob's computer freezes. He is freaking out, I am freaking out, but nothing was lost so we just kept punching away. It’s now 6:40pm, we have to leave for class and Rob is still not finished. Mind you, he doesn’t work during the day. He had plenty of time and yet here he was, last min. and not finished. I finally just left for school without him. I have to be on time.

The catch? In order to get full credit for the paper, there is an online submission that has to be made. He went to submit around 8pm to find out that the submission closed at 7pm, right when class started. He started text messaging me frantically, and of course I started stressing for him but then again, in the back of my mind, I was doing the I told you so's.

Class ends at 10pm, he comes at 9:30pm. After class he goes up to the teacher to try and see what he could do. The teacher had made it perfectly clear that you had to turn in it online or you would get a zero. I'm waiting for the yelling, but no, he just tells Rob it’s ok and that he can turn it in when he gets home.

He just tells him its fine, its fine that you are late, you can still get credit.

Example 2:

I love Psychology. I'm good at things like that. I like the brain; I like the thought process behind it all.

We had a big test last week and so I made flash cards. I went through them and went through them, making sure I was prepared.

We had to leave for school at 4:30pm, I get home from work around 3pm, and that entire time I was trying to help Rob. He didn’t know them that well; it wasn’t making sense, so I tried to help. We went through those things so much; I made examples in real life so he could make the connection, and when we entered the parking lot he had them much better than he did before.

I wanted him to pass. Heck, we both wanted to pass. The last test we took we took late because of the wedding and the teacher put us in a room together, practically telling us to talk amongst ourselves. It made the test a lot easier for Rob. So for this test, I positioned my paper slightly closer to him, giving him a little help. I know, bad idea. Very bad idea. But I figure... his education is mine too, right?

We got the tests back on Monday and who gets the better grade? Rob. Yep, Rob did. It’s my passion, it’s what I’m good at, I coached him, and I let him cheat, and Rob gets the better grade. I love my life.

Example 3:

Anthropology. Probably the strangest course in the book and I honestly don’t get the point of it.

We have lots of papers due in that class, and lots of reading for those papers. Granted, Rob actually read the book for this one, but that was just the deal we had. He would read the book and I would do all the other homework for Political Science. It seemed to work just fine. He told me about the book, I pulled a couple random quotes to help my points, and I wrote the paper in a day. I just had to. There was no other time that I could do it, so I just had to cram it out in a couple hours.

He made it clear in the syllabus that yes, he would take late work, but that you would get points taken off for it. I edited Rob’s paper. I went through the entire thing and took stuff out, re-arranged things, perfected it. I kept bugging him about it because the day it was due Rob’s paper wasn’t finished. I know, surprised?

Class is on Tuesday. Wednesday it wasn’t done, Thursday it wasn’t done, but he finally finishes Friday. Friday he doesn’t turn it in, Monday he doesn’t turn it in, but finally he does in class on Tuesday. It’s now a week late. It’s been clearly stated that you will get points off for that.

We got our papers back yesterday and who gets the better grade? Rob does. Of course it is Rob. Not only does it get a better grade than me, but he probably got the best grade in the class. 55 out of 50. The paper was a week late.

So I just decided to quit. There is no point caring so much when people actually get better grades when they don’t. So the stress, that doesn’t seem to get me anywhere.

I am done following the rules. I am done being the upper organized beauty that I once was, because people just hand free passes out left and right to those who just do whatever. I want to be a do whatever person. Because it's the do whatever people who end up finishing first anyways, and us stress freaks are on the side of the road with the heart attacks wondering what went wrong.

So I just quit.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY BABYLOVE !!!!

(a.k.a. Elyse)

I am so thankful that you were born 22 years ago !!!!!

here are 20 of the billion reasons why I love you...

1) I love your smile

2) you make me laugh when no one else can

3) The example you are to me

4) what a great planner you are (even if that means sticky notes everywhere)

5) The support you give to me

6) your happy dance

7) Your amazing voice (Ill bring the sharpies to church this week)

8) your like an m&m.... a hard exterior shell but soft  yummy and rich on the inside

9) your always honest... even when i want you to tell me my hair looks good

10) your bright red hair

11) your style

12) what a good cook you are becoming!

13) how you love to share

14) how caring you are

15) your humor... yes ... i find you funny

16) youre loyalty- you got my back ...so world dont mess with me!

17) youre a hard working woman

18) youre a great support to me

19) youre the best kisser!

20) you are a great wife!!!!! YOU have everything i have ever wanted and much more

HAPPY BIRTHDAY BABYLOVE!

Only One

I dont know if you remember my friend Herb. I meet him randomly while doing jury duty the other day. You remember the 89 year old man? I had to return for traffic school a couple Mondays ago, and while sitting, I saw Herb again. Not thinking he would remember me, I went up and asked if it really was him. He immediately smiled, recited my name perfectly, and by the end of the day I had his phone number and a promise that I would call and bring him a pie. Herb. What a cute man.

I have been thinking about Herb today and this quote that he liked to recite to large audiences. It was from his grandfather, and if only you could see Herb say it. His voice boomed at certain points, grew soft at certain points, you could just tell he loved the eyes on him and would have been a great actor.

I cant recite it perfectly. I just remember it being about a clock, and how you never know when it will stop. "Not the hour, not the day..." It said something about living your life now, because tomorrow, "the clock might stand still.."

We only have one life. This is our one. This is our chance to make things happen, to make the most of this little life we have. We come down to this earth expected to make the best choices for ourselves, and you never know when the time is up. For some it might be 20, for others 56, for others 95. But we just have this one.

This life is about learning and growing and stretching our minds to reach new heights. Its about trying new things, things that might scare you, things that might make you uncomfortable, things that might bring you joy, but its just about trying. You cant sit just sit around. This is your only one.

I personally am just excited to have the chance to try at all. I'm so grateful for this one little life I lead, because to me, this is a perfect life. This life might be full of joys and sorrows and tears and disappointments, but it is mine. I am excited to love my life, whatever it brings me in the future. I'm excited to fail. I'm excited for the moments of growth and wisdom. I'm excited for the big things, those big scarey things that we dream about but yet when they come you never know how to approach them. I'm just excited to live a life I love, a life I can look back on and smile. I'm excited for Rob too, and all the opportunities he will face. I'm excited for him to live a life he loves. Because at the end of the day, this life is all about those little moments, whether they be the moments where you laughed so hard you cried, or those moments when you couldnt stop crying. This life is about the times you were scared to death, but yet you did it anyways. Life is just a mixture of  all those little moments, all pilled up on top of each other, making a life we are hopefully proud of. But its your life. This is your only one, so try and make it the best, because then it just ends. From one moment to the next it could just be over, that clock could just stop. This is your one. This is your time. Now is the time to try as hard as you can with this little life you lead.

I just hope that when I look back at my life I can see the times I failed, or cried, or laughed, or was just plain uncomfortable every once in awhile. I hope I can see that I tried, that I tried really hard, because this was my only one.

My Husband

I am convinced that my Husband has the sexiest voice in the world. I don't know how I all the sudden noticed this, just that it came to me yesterday while on the phone with him. I was listening to him talk and it just hit me. He is so sexy.

Paranoid

I tend to be paranoid at times. Sometimes about the strangest things. I just like having set answers and knowing for certain. If something is up in the air my mind starts racing, thinking up all the possibilities that could happen, fretting about certain possibilities that I don't necessarily like. Its a stressful world, this paranoid one.

My body hasn't been normal lately. I just haven't been feeling good, things haven't been working like they normally do, and it's been frustrating. My body has hurt in some form for almost 2 weeks. I finally went to the doctor on Friday, got some medication, and things were starting to look up. Until Monday.

I'm on birth control. Not really shocking, I know, because that seems to be the norm these days. The way it works is you have the certain amount of the pink pills, and then there are 4 white pills, giving your body the time to do its monthly cycles. My "monthly cycle" usually starts by the 2nd white pill when things are normal. Monday was the second pill and by Monday night I was crying because I thought I was pregnant. No period.

I panicked. I honestly believed I was pregnant. I had had dreams a couple weeks ago about being pregnant, and I was sure those dreams were trying to tell me something. I started budgeting in my brain, knowing there wouldn't be enough, and calculating 9 months from now and how much I could save. I started thinking about all the 2 bedrooms we have been looking at, knowing for sure we would need it now. I had a mini-melt down if you will. I cried. I blamed Rob. I was mad. Very mad. Very mad at all those people who assured me birth control was effective, without mentioning that 1%. Of course, with my luck, I would be that 1%. And it didn't help that Rob and I love watching those shows. You know, the ones where they had no idea they were pregnant until the baby. I have started to feel more weight coming on, I thought. And well, I have been eating more I guess. It was getting ridiculous.

I couldn't sleep. It was my turn to pray, but in my state of emotion I just couldn't muster one out. So I told Rob to pray, and through tears, told him to pray there is no baby. I hope you read that last line carefully. I told Rob to pray to our Heavenly Father, begging there to be no baby. I'm laughing now just thinking back on that.

So Rob prayed. He prayed telling Heavenly Father that we couldn't afford a baby, that we need more time to save, and that a baby just isn't part of our plan. Rob hesitated throughout the prayer. You could just tell he knew the prayer was stupid.

Tuesday afternoon while we were at school we started talking about the baby incident, how we both felt, and we all the sudden burst out laughing. Who the heck prays to Heavenly Father telling Him how the plan will work?? Who prays that there wont be a baby, because quite frankly, its just not part of the plan? Please Heavenly Father, please respect our plans, because we know better? We couldn't stop laughing.

I'm happy to report that there is no baby, although I am sure you have guessed that already. My paranoid little attack surely was evidence enough that the emotional cycle would be coming shortly. I did get a pregnancy test just for peace of mind, however, because I just had to put it to rest. No baby.

I'm just not sure if we should thank Heavenly Father that our prayers were answered, or we should be scared. We are now resulting to knocking on wood, praying for things not to happen is just too risky.

Forgotten

I don't know what my problem is, but I am holding back tears right now. I should certainly not be crying, but all the sudden I cannot help it. Yes, period week is approaching us, but I hate that excuse because I am emotional with or without it. Then, if you happen to be overcome with emotion around that time, everyone rights it off, blaming it on the blood and not true feelings. So period or not, I am feeling emotion. Strong emotion.

Why? I miss my family. All the sudden I just miss them. Like the kind of missing that makes you re-call all the special things you love most, even without putting the effort in to do so. The real kicker is the fact that I live a mile from them, if even that. Its not like there are states between us, hours between us, no, there are just two turns between us and yet I still miss them like those two turns were states.

Its funny how you can be so close, but yet so far. Schedules come in between, lives come in between, and now I understand why we didnt really see my grandparents that much. You dont want to intrude. You dont want to just walk in while everyone is going about their lives and expect someone to talk with you and visit with you. Things are busy. I barely saw them all when I was actually living in the home, so you can imagine how my attempts would go at seeing them now.

And its not even my parents, no offense to them. Its my siblings. Its those wonderful siblings. I miss my siblings so much. I miss their faces. I miss us laughing. I miss late night Law & Order dates. I miss their hugs. I miss their criticism of how strange my face sometimes looks when I have all my creams plastered on. I miss their want for game night, me being the only adult in the home always ready for that. I miss rolling my eyes with them when our parents say something ridiculous, because they know I have been there and I know I have been there. I miss family dinners. I just miss them. I honestly thought I was ready to leave. I thought I was ready to move on and experience new adventure, and I am, don't worry Rob, I am. I just didn't realize I would miss them like this. And its only going to get worse. Throw in a few states, a lot more strangers, and it will get much much worse.

They just have to promise they wont move on without me. I think that's what scares me the most, is the fact that they will all move on without me. They will have dates I don't know about, funny little inside jokes that I will be on the outside of, horrible happenings that I wont fully be able to understand because I wont be there. They will grow up and live their lives, me at a distance, and they will move on without me. I cant be there to give them advice unless they come to me, and what if they never come to me? What if moving on without me, has a tinge of forgetting about me all mixed in together. You can try as hard as you can to keep in touch, but sometimes the other person has to make moves too, and what if they never call me? What if they never need me anymore?

So siblings. Please miss me like I miss you. Please call me when you feel like it, because your voices will always light up my day. You are all extrodinary people, on your way to do extraordinary things, things that I cannot wait to see happen. Just please, dont forget about me. I will always be missing you. I will always want to laugh with you, and play games with you, and eat with you.. I will always cherish you and be rooting for you because I love you. I love you with all of my heart.

I just don't want to be forgotten.

What Would Herb Say?

Today I had Jury Duty. Who ever looks forward to Jury Duty? I'll be honest, the thought of sitting in one room for an extensive period of time sort of appealed to me today because I have so many thank you notes to get in the mail. I figured, if I am going to be somewhere, doing absolutely nothing, I might as well be productive at doing absolutely nothing. I even thought to bring my Laptop because I still have traffic school  online, begging me to complete it. Productiveness. I work during the day, I go to school at night, these are things that just seem to slip through the cracks.

I wanted to throw my alarm across the room when it went off this morning. Productive day or not, the hour just didn't agree with me. I got there around the same time as most of the people did, checked in, and had to fill out this form, making it so I was one of very few people left standing. There was a seat right up front, and rather than squeeze through some row, it was just easier to sit there. A very disgruntled teenager sat to my left, and this cute older gentleman sat to my right. I honestly have no idea how the conversation got started, but Herb made my day.

Meet Herb. He is a sprite 89 year old, still driving, and does yard work for widowed women. Not because they cant bend over, but as Herb says, its that they cant get up. His wife died in 1993, only 69 years old, from some sort of tumor. It wasn't that the tumor took her, no she lived right through the surgery, it was that the Kemo that followed was too much for her body. Right before this happened they celebrated their 50th Wedding Anniversary. His kids wanted a party, he wanted a cruise, the kids said they couldn't afford it, he said he would pay, and they all enjoyed a week of celebration. It was right after their return that they found out about that tumor. He calls that lucky because they spent that last trip together. He's lived in California his whole life, Westminister for the past 39 years, but he has no family there. He has a Son up by San Francisco, and a Daughter in Costa Mesa. No one ever really visits him. If I knew where he lived I would, but I am sure he would not have told me if I asked... that just would have been creepy. He has a Granddaughter who needed help once, had some trouble with this loan, and he paid it off for her, just asking that she pay him so much per month without interest. She did for a couple months or so, and then her husband got a job transfer and he hasn't heard from her since. Wrote her once and never heard back.

It sounded like he lived in a retirement community, although he certainly was more energetic than anyone I have met in a retirement community. He said in the place he lives they have game night, and they sing carols, and they are all each others friends. Just talking to him you would love him. You should see the way his face moves when he talks, or the joy that sweeps across his face when he spoke of his grandfather and the funny sayings that he had. He had this happiness about him, and he was all about making sure others did too. If someone passed him who didn't have a smile, he would question them on their happiness, addressing them upfront so that by the time they walked away they were smiling.

At one point during our visit he asked me what the most important part of a person was. I answered the fact that they can breath. He said no. I said that maybe it was their heart, because that keeps them alive as well. He said no. Finally, after getting bothered that I was not as smart and intuitive as he thought, he said their attitude. He went on to say the importance of attitude, the fact that its all we can change, and how much God's work depends on a positive attitude. He spoke about the importance of happiness, the importance of smiling, because we have every reason to do so. He spoke about how bothersome it was to hear complaints, and how degrading people can be. He seemed to define resilience, and all I could do was listen. Every word I listened to. I smiled. I laughed. I made little interjections when I agreed completely. But I couldn't really talk because he fascinated me. I just met him and he made me so incredibly happy because thats all that came from him. Even when talking about his wife's death, he mainly talked about how good it was to be on that cruise. He has been to jury duty 35 times, but by the look on his face you would never have known. He just kept saying that because he is so wise, they keep inviting him back. He fascinated me. Jolly, thats probably the best word to describe my new friend Herb.

So I walked away happy, even when they called my name to a court room. I walked away joyful, and ready to make everyone around me smile. I wanted to spread the joy of Herb. I mean heck, when you meet Herb you will understand that you cant exactly help it, his joy is so contagious it will bother you. I walked down the hall, I sat in the room, I heard I was to report on Monday, and then all these negative events started happening. Its not important to name them, because honestly that doesn't matter. What matters is the negativity that I all the sudden felt. The way I let other people, within the most ridiculous situations, affect that attitude Herb so graciously gave me. Its like in the span of an hour I had completely forgotten about the inspiration I had received from that 89 year old man. I sat angry in my car wondering what the crap Herb would say, and yes, I said crap because that was the mood that so kindly accompanied me.

Herb would have smacked me. It seems violent for an 89 year old man, but you should see the shape this guy is in. He most certainly would have smacked me because I was so stupid to not even let his words sink in before I went right back to sour. He would have smacked me and told me what a wonderful life I have. He would have repeated his little portion on Gods plan and how this sour part was not helping that plan to move forward, and it was certainly not part of Gods plan for me. His plan for me is happiness, and joy, and love, and service. Sour is nowhere to be found.

I wish I was as perfect as Herb. I wish it was that easy to just let things roll off your back, to just let people say things and suddenly you aren't sensitive toward their words and you just continue smiling. I wish it were that easy. Its obvious that age means wisdom, and certainly Herb has had a lot of practice so I shouldn't be comparing myself to him. Its just that I want to make Herb proud. So Herb, I failed a little today and I let other people get the best of me. Thankfully tomorrow is a new day, something I am sure you would say to me in this moment, and so I can try again, another thing I am certain you would say. I will try again to spread joy and to smile and to laugh, and to just be the best I can, because you're right, God has a plan for me and sour is no where to be found in that.

I wish there were more Herbs in the world.

Thank You All

So we have made it to day 11 of marriage!!!!!!

I am proud to say that Elyse and I are still married and still madly in love. Yay!

One might ask what I have learned in this short time....I’ve learned that a man must be willing to give up his closet, the bathroom counter space, and willing to wake up at 4 am to get water for their love.

However, the most important thing I have learned is to say, well besides sorry, Thank you! Thank you Elyse for making each of the last 11 days better than the day before!

We haven’t made it this far on our own, I owe a lot of thank yous. First off, Thank you to Glenn and April (my in-laws) for letting me marry Elyse (even after shucking me) and for all that you did for the wedding! You went far above and beyond to make it such an amazing day! Thank you! A special thank you goes out to Jordan and Lynne law for opening up your home to Elyse and I, and being such good roomies! A special thank you to both of my Parents (Chuck and Pam) for being there for us and being good examples to me! A special thank you to my Mom for allowing the show to go on when she was down and out on our wedding day! Thank you! A special thank you to each of our brothers and sisters.... starting with the oldest Chad, Laura, Curtis, Steven, Carson, Max, Ian, Avery, Camden and Caelum. Thank you for being such good older and younger bro's and sisters to us and being so welcoming to our love choice. A special thank you to all our Grandma's, Grandpa's, Aunts, Uncles , Cousins, nieces and nephews who went out of their way to be there on our special day and for all the little tasks you did from moving furniture, setting up tables, to video taping or just looking cute and smiling! A Special thank you to Shawna and Emma Johnson for working like slaves by creating such beautiful flower arrangements; it made for even a more beautiful day! Thank you! Thank you Brion and Bryce, our photographers and my friends, for shooting our wedding and doing such an amazing job! These pictures will remind our future children when I am fat, bald, and old, that at one time their Father was Hott Stuff! Thank you!

Marriage Suits Me

I'm actually married and I think marriage suits me. There are moments when I cannot believe what has happened, and then there are moments where it just makes sense and fits perfectly. Its been almost a week already, time going just as fast now as it did before.. but I keep waiting for this all to completely sink in. I thought it would start to sink in when I moved.... or when I woke up on my wedding day... or when we were kneeling at the alter... or when we had our first dance... or on our honeymoon.. or even once I slept in the same bed as him once we were home. I just thought that it would finally sink it when I didn't have to go home anymore.. or the fact that there is no need to talk on the phone because I can turn to him whenever I want. I thought it would sink in when I went to work this morning, approaching the real world together. It hasn't though. It really hasn't sunk in...

However, its been wonderful. Literally every day with him is nothing but wonderful. It doesn't matter what we are doing, even if we aren't talking, but life with this husband of mine is exactly what I wanted for myself. We all grow up with this image in our mind of how we want things to work out, and this is how I saw it. This is exactly how I saw it.

I am a Wife now. I am a Wife, and my Husband completes me. He is exactly what I have been missing, exactly what I was searching for. I felt my life slipping away from me a couple years ago. I didnt have a purpose besides school, and that was starting to drain me. I knew something was missing, I knew I could be happier, I just was comlpetely unaware of how to make that happen. So I just kept things the way they were, knowing that by some magical force it would miraculously change if it was meant to. And it did. It changed faster than I could think, and I feel like a completely different person. In 9 months my world has completely changed. I am someones someone and he is mine. We come as a pair now.

They are right when they say marriage is when life begins. I was a great person before, but I feel like I have been boosted up. I feel a new found joy that I never knew existed. How inspiring to be with your best friend, battling what life has to offer. I like this marriage thing. I definitely think it suits me.

Trials

Yesterday I went through the temple for the first time. I'll be honest, I'm a little overwhelmed and not entirely sure of everything I experienced, mainly because I was so focused on certain words that touched me and certain feelings that still linger. I walked away in awe of it all and even more excited for this new adventure of mine. 

It was so incredible to be there with Rob. I kept taking a peak over at him, just happy that we were both there. We both have that in common now. We both know of the feelings we felt there and the words we promised to each other when it was all over. We both sat in the Celestial room hugging each other, both knowing that we would return.

I'll admit I'm naive now, right in this moment, but I'm just going to assume you all were when you first got married. Right in this moment I have such dreams for us, goals for us, and I see nothing but happiness. Right now I see us returning to the temple, both of us faithful and clinging to the Lord. Right now I see our children and all the wonderful things that we will do with them, all the wonderful things we will teach them. Right now I am at peace because I can see what joy can be in our future, nothing but happiness.

Obviously, I know I am wrong. I'm not that naive. I know it wont ever work out fully like that, mainly because I know trials exist, and those scare me. Just the thought of them scares me. I know there will be times, and have been times, where we have anger towards each other. I know there will be times where we forget our blessings and aren't quick to cling to the Lord. I also know there will be times when we have to be reminded, humbled, made stronger.

Its not that I dont think bad things will happen, its not that I'm "too young" to see that there will be things in life hard to get through, but in this moment I see nothing but happiness. In this moment I see how strong we can be, and I see what beauty the temple brings. In this moment I see the importance of returning often, improving constantly on our shield of protection to warn away those evil things.

In the temple, sitting there, trying to absorb everything happening around me, I just felt nothing but peace. I felt the protection of the Lord, I felt His love for me, and I also felt His love for Rob. I felt peace as I looked at Rob, and I feel nothing but peace now, knowing that He will be there throughout our entire marriage if we let Him. He will carry us. He will guide us. He will lift us up when we feel we cant move another muscle. He is our strength, and our lighthouse. I know there will be trials for us. I know there will be things that discourage us and challenge us and test our character. I know there will also be times where one of us, or both maybe, want to give up. But I also know that the Lord heals. I know that no matter what happens, no matter the strength of the trial, the Lord is stronger.

I have seen terrible things happen to families. Things you never wouldve thought. I have heard stories of the incredible strength of the devil, and I have recently felt his power over our minds, disguising himself so he is hard to distinguish. There are terrible things in the world, and terrible people to help those terrible things along. People make choices that affect us greatly, especially our spouse, and I have seen the extreme difficulty that holds over their families left in the dust to pick up those pieces. Its horrible. Its tragic. And the fact that things like that could happen to me makes me want to cry, because we cant control that part of life. We cannot stop the terrible things from happening.

I will never forget those feelings I felt in the temple yesterday night. I will never forget the warmth, and the joy that was constantly hugging me. I will never forget. Ever. And through all the trials that come my way I will try my very best to draw back on that experience of when I knew for the very first time the power of peace that can be found here on earth. I knew for the very first time of the extent of my Heavenly Fathers love for me, and that is a very hard thing to forget.

So bring on those trials. Bring on the terrible things life has to offer me, trying to bring me down, because in this moment I feel nothing but strength from my Father in Heaven. In this moment I know I can do it, and may I always draw back to this moment when I feel that I cant.