Meet Pat

This is Pat. We chose the name Pat because we really don't know if its a Boy or a Girl. We figure, Patrick or Patricia works just fine.

Pat is our baby. Yes, we had a baby and isn't it just beautiful. It was abandoned and we so generously chose to take it into our home and love it as if it was our own.

I know it's face is a little mutilated, and don't worry, Rob did give it a bath when we got home so Pat looks much better now.

The story behind Pat? I guess you could blame the 79th Ward, or more specifically, our Relief Society President. She has the cutest baby in the world. I am not even kidding. I thought I was the cutest baby in the world, or maybe even little Caelum with his gigantic blue eyes, but nope, this baby is most certainly the most beautiful.

We sat behind them in church a couple Sunday's ago and she kept playing with my bracelets and batting those beautiful eyes... and man, that beauty of hers really got to me. We left church and that was all I could talk about. I don't ever get baby pains. I think since we have been married I have had one, and that was just merely because I was married and therefore was able to have children legitimately. There was a man who loved me unconditionally and would father my children, and just the thought of that was pretty powerful. I didn't want the baby, I just liked the thought of the baby.

This time was different. This time was very different. I think I even cried because I was so overwhelmed with what motherhood really meant and the beauty that comes from that. It is incredible to think of the love my mother has for me, and then to have that same feeling toward my children. To literally grow a child inside of you, and then nurture it their entire lives.. It is completely overwhelming to think about, and so beautiful at the same time.

Now, don't go thinking we are getting pregnant or that I honestly think we could handle a baby right now. I have already told God that we cant handle one, just that the thought of one seems magical. And its just the thought. Please don't tell me about the midnight wake-ups, the spit up, the crying.. all the responsibilities that come with babies, because I know. I have watched my mother raise enough of them to know the responsibilities that come with babies. I know enough to know I cannot handle one right now, but that still doesn't mean I don't think about them. That still doesn't mean that the thought of motherhood, and the more understanding I have of what motherhood means... It just makes the process seem so much more beautiful to me.

When we got home that Sunday, after the long discussion in the car, Rob announced we were no longer allowed to sit behind that sweet baby girl. He said it was causing problems, and I completely agreed with him. I had no idea what had come over me.

Throughout the entire week I would make jokes about babies, and make us talk about babies, and everything was about babies. That weekend we went down to Idaho Falls and on the drive we had a more serious talk about babies, me just reassuring poor Robert that I wasn't being completely serious, and him telling me that we cant joke because then God will just give us one and start laughing. I completely agreed. No more talk of babies. We have our game plan and I know that no matter what we will be sticking to that game plan. And don't any of you laugh about that, we have knocked on wood many times.

So in Idaho falls we did some shopping, and then we had to go to Toys R Us to get a game for this weekly game night we have been hosting. We were walking through the parking lot when all the sudden Rob started laughing and picked up Pat, announcing to me that this was our baby. He started hugging it and getting excited and talking to it and telling me that this here was our baby.

We got home and he washed it, and we put it in a safe place so we can watch it daily. It really is a great baby. It hasn't cried once, it sleeps through the night, and we don't even know what the sex is so it cant even go to the bathroom. I don't have to feed it. You don't even have to play with Pat, it is just happy all the time.

This kind of parenthood is certainly something we can handle.